Chasing Cars
by ThatKidFromSchool
Summary: He was lying in the middle of the road like it was no big deal when I first talked to him. Like he was waiting for someone to run him over. I had everything planned before I met him, but he changed everything. I knew what I was going to do with my life, while he did whatever life threw at him. He taught me what it was like to feel alive. He told me that whatever happens, happens.
1. Crazy

**I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

**Chasing Cars**

**Prologue**

I lied down on the thick asphalt road. I stared at the sky, knowing I could get run over at any given moment. I outstretched my arms as if I was making a snow angel. My hair puddled around my face. My lips curved into a smile, reminiscing at how quiet the night was. A couple of months ago, I would have never thought of doing this. Something so preposterous. It was insane, doing this so late. At this point, I didn't care. It was a nice feeling.

I remember the first time I did this with him. I knew it was crazy, but he was so calm about it. About everything. I remember the adrenaline rush I felt when I quickly stood up to save myself from getting hit by a speeding car. When I looked up from the sidewalk, he was laughing at me. The both of us were about to die, and he didn't care a single bit.

He thought me how to let loose. I had my whole life planned out before I met him. I had a daily routine, I always knew exactly what I was going to do everyday. We were complete opposites. He never thought twice about anything. He lived everyday of his life with a new adventure, while I played everything safe.

What was once a one time thing became my new daily routine. Except, I never knew what was going to happen each day. I didn't know how many cars will pass, if there will be someone who will stop to check if I was okay. I came here every night. Sometimes, I saw him lying next to me, just like the first time. I could feel his hand encased in mine, his lips pressed against mine, his arm around my shoulders.

I promised him I wouldn't cry, and I didn't. Only the first hour. I knew he wanted me to be happy when I thought about him, and I am. I only thought about the good times, never the bad. And I had no regrets. I heard a loud honk coming from the distance, and I felt it. The sudden burst of energy escaping me. I jumped up, walking slowly towards the sidewalk.

I waited for the car to pass, before going back to my original spot. Now, I didn't care. Because whatever happens, happens. Life still goes on. And by now, I would have already experienced the one thing I've always wanted.

_To know what it was like to feel alive. To be on good terms with the ones I love. _

_To fall in love. _

* * *

**Chapter 1 - Crazy**

I first talked to him on the night I caught him laying in the middle of the street. I already knew who he was. He was Toby Cavanaugh. He didn't really talk much, but when I saw him lying there. I knew he was crazy.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, freaking out a little bit. I almost ran him over, but I pulled over to the side of the road. He turned his head at me, with a smile.

"Lying down," he answered simply. He said it as if it were obvious, and it was, but that's not what I meant.

I clenched my fists, angry. "Are you freaking crazy!" I shouted at him, while he chuckled quietly at my outburst. "I was about to run you over!"

He shrugged, and completely ignored me. "Would you care to join me?" I walked closer to him, about ready to slap some sense into him. Instead, I grabbed him as I saw the bright glow of a car's headlights, and a loud honk to signal us to get out of the way. We jumped towards the sidewalk as the car sped past us. I tried to catch my breath, but he was giggling. At me.

"Are you serious right now?" Toby's goofy smile didn't leave his face. "Are you even listening to me? You could have died!" I shouted before realization hit me like a bus. "_We_ could have died!"

"But we didn't." He let out his last laugh, walking back to the middle of the street and sitting down. I crossed my arms, and walked towards him.

"What are you doing?"

"Enjoying myself," he told me. "Wasn't that fun?"

"You call almost dying, fun?" He acted as if everything was one big joke. "Are you out of your mind?"

"I think I'm fine," he smiled at me. "Live a little." He held out his hand to me. "Try it with me." I looked at him, in disbelief.

"Why are you even doing this?" I asked him. "This is insane."

"I'm trying to live a little, Spencer," he laughed. "You have to be a little daring sometimes." He reclined his back, using his hands as a pillow. He closed his eyes as if he was in pure bliss.

"This is not daring," I snapped. "This is suicide."

"Would it really matter if I died? Or get injured?" He asked, lifting his head up, his eyes reopening. He used his elbows as a stand to hold himself up. "Life will still go on."

"But you'll be dead."

"True," he agreed. "But life is all about taking risks. If I did die, then it was meant to be. Everything happens for a reason, you know." His blue eyes shined under the moon light. "Nobody lives forever, so why waste any time?"

"You won't have time if you stay here, waiting for a car to run you over," I pointed out.

He gave me the same answer. "Live, even for just a little bit." He patted the spot next to him. "It's not too late to join me."

"I'm going home," I announced, uncrossing my arms, and heading back towards my car. I saw his head fall back, but his smile never faded. "He's crazy," I muttered to myself.

* * *

"Wait," Hanna paused me mid-sentence. "He was in the middle of the road?"

"Yeah," I replied. "And he didn't seem to care that he was very close to dying."

"Guys, give Toby a break," Emily said. "He's really sweet."

Hanna scrunched her nose. "He doesn't really talk much."

"He's crazy. He's insane. He's out of his mind," Hanna and Emily's heads turned upwards, their eyes wide in shock. Their eyes were like screaming at me to stop talking. "He's right behind me." I pressed my lips tightly together, and turned around. "Hey, you're alive!" I said, in the most sarcastic tone.

"I am," he said. He looked straight ahead, then he looked back down at us, and nodded to excuse himself. We watched as he entered his first period class.

Hanna titled her head a little. "You know," she started. "He's actually really cute up close."

"I'm going to class," I said, closing my locker.

Hanna teased a little. "Why so early?" She questioned. "Want to get the seat closest to his before the bell rings?"

I glared at her. "I don't even like him like that."

The blond giggled. "Relax," she said. "I was joking." I rolled my eyes, turning around and heading towards Mr. Fitz class.

Standing at the doorway, I searched around the classroom. I looked for a nice seat closest to the front, but they were all taken. My eyes landed upon the last seat in the second row. I walked towards it until someone took my place. He smirked at me, giving me a small wave. I looked at him in total disbelief as I was now stuck in the back of the classroom. The bell had rung by now, and Mister Fitz began his usual lesson.

It was hard for me to concentrate on the lesson. I hated sitting in the back. It felt as though the back was so dim and dark. Toby just had to take my seat.

"For this book, I'm going to assign you guys partners for a group project," he announced. He picked up his notebook, reading aloud the list of partners. I listened intently, waiting to hear my name get called. Hoping I don't get a lazy partner. "Aria Montgomery and Lisa Parker. Emily Fields and Hanna Marin," he read on through the list until the last two names were called.

_"Spencer Hastings and Toby Cavanaugh." _


	2. Friendship

**I do not own Pretty Little Liars. **

**Chapter 2 - Friendship**

I smile crept up my face as I felt a hand slip into mine as I was walking out the door. I turned my head, and he pecked my lips as we walked out of english. "Hey," I giggled.

"What's gotten you into a happy mood?" Noel asked, his charming smile gleaming. "You're face literally said you were done with everything, when you were stuck sitting at the back of the classroom."

I chuckled. "Yeah, well I guess your presence makes me feel better." I looked up at him with a bubbly feeling in my stomach. He gave me another kiss, his hand squeezing mine. When the kiss ended, I bit my lip and turned my head to find Toby walking towards me.

"Shouldn't you go talk to Toby?" Noel asked, whispering in my ear.

I was confused. "Wait, why?"

Noel looked at me funnily. "Did that kiss all of a sudden wipe your memory of the group project?"

"Oh yeah!" I laughed a little. "I forgot." By then, Toby was standing in front of the both of us. Noel smiled at him, giving him a small wave.

"What's up, Toby?" He made polite conversation with him. Toby didn't have any friends. It wasn't because he was unpopular or a loser, but because he didn't allow anyone to be friends with him. Nobody could really figure out why.

"I was wondering what to do about the project?" He asked me, waving back at Noel.

I thought about it for a moment. "Um, how about you come to my place after school? If that's okay with you."

He smiled. "That works for me," he said as the bell rang. "Uh could I get your address later?"

"I'll give it to you after school at your locker," I said, allowing Noel to lead me to class.

Noel gave him another wave. "Bye, Tobes."

I looked at him, a little strangely. "Since when were you nice to pariah?" I joked.

"He's not an outcast," he said. "My dad and his dad are best friends."

"Do you know why he doesn't want anyone to be friends with him?"

"I think my dad knows," he said, opening the door to our classroom for me. "We used to be really good friends-"

"Ah, Mr. Kahn and Ms. Hastings," Mr. Anderson introduced us to the class as we were a little late in his usually calm tone. "The two of you walk into my class late, talking and being disruptive towards the students who actually came here to learn." He crossed his arms, in feign annoyance. "Which surprises me, Ms. Hastings, you always love to learn something new."

Mr. Anderson was actually a quite chill kind of teacher. He was not afraid to be sarcastic and snide with students, even though we all knew he was just goofing around. He was the teacher Noel and I would always talk to when we are having troubles regarding our relationship, or friends, or anything really. He had dirty blond hair, and crystal blue eyes. He looked a whole lot younger than his actual age. He teaches biology to all seniors, and a few juniors. A lot of girls nursed a crush on him. He normally didn't address our lateness, but today he did which leads me to wonder why.

There was even a time where he allowed us to skip school for the rest of the day. He covered for us the entire day. We never got caught, and there was no damage done to my perfect attendance sheet. We had skipped school that day to deal with some stuff. Settle with the loss of our best friend, Alison DiLaurentis.

"We're sorry, Mr. Anderson. We were caught up in a conversation in the hallway," Noel apologized. He elbowed me lightly in the hip, and pointed with his head towards the back of the classroom. When I turned my head slightly, I saw him. Somebody was observing the classroom. He was probably from the district. "Spencer had to talk to her group partner about a project."

"Very well then," he dismissed us. "Sit down, and please don't disturb the class again."

* * *

At the end of class, the class observer left along with the rest of the class. We stayed back to apologize once again for being late. The observer of the class could have deemed Mr. Anderson as an irresponsible teacher.

"We're sorry again, Derek," I apologized. "I completely forgot your class was under observation."

Mr. Anderson smiled. "It's fine Spencer, Noel. I'm in the clear." The three of us turned suddenly to hear the door open. "Hey, Toby. Free period already?" Toby nodded lightly, taking a seat up front. Noel and I gave Derek a questioning look.

"Why does he spend free period here?" I whispered, so Toby couldn't hear.

He shrugged at me. "Why don't you ask him?" I gave him a look. "He thinks it would be best that he stayed isolated from the rest of the student body," he answered in a hushed tone. "and frankly, so do I, but I wasn't going to make him sit in the guidance office alone."

"Why can't he be with the rest of the students?" Noel asked. By then, Toby turned around to look at us. He had a curious look on his face, probably questioning why we were all talking so quietly. Derek smiled at him, reassuring Toby silently so that he knows there is nothing to worry about.

"You should ask him," he said. "He might tell you both, but for now, the two of you should get going. It's not my secret to tell. I'm sorry."

"We'll see you later, Derek," Noel said, taking my hand as we walked out the door. As we were a few steps out the door, I realized I forgot to give Toby my address. I was about to go back, but decided against it as it seemed as though Toby and Mr. Anderson were deep in conversation. "What's wrong?" The hallways were empty as everyone was in their respective classes, in the cafeteria, or out in the courtyard.

"Nothing, I forgot to give Toby my address," I said. "but they look busy."

"Okay," he smiled. "So where are we sitting today?"

"Hanna said that they are out in the courtyard today," I looked at him. "By the way, we never finished our earlier conversation."

"Which conversation?"

"The one where you said you and Toby were really good friends."

"Ah, that one," he said. "Our dad's were friends so he always came over and stuff. We've been friends since we we're like five years old."

"What happened?"

"I don't know," he answered, truthfully. "In eight grade, he just stopped talking to me all of a sudden. He quit baseball, band, and he cut off all communication."

I thought about it for a moment. "Does your dad know why?"

His grip on my hand grew a little tighter. "I think he does, but he never told me anything. He only told me to leave it alone, and that it was for the best."

"Do you miss being friends with him?"

"Well, yeah," he admitted. "He saved my life once, which was something I never really understood."

"Did you ever ask him why?"

He looked at me, and I can tell his more happy mood from this morning turned into something more pained. "Every time I did, he'd give me a vague answer. He'd either apologize to me or say that it's for the best or something. Our dad's will tell me the same thing. I never got a real answer."

"How and when did he save your life?"

"He pushed me out of the way from getting hit by a school bus," I widened my eyes. "I only made it out alive because he saved me."

"When did it happen?"

"Surprisingly, after he stopped talking to me."

"How could you stop all contact from each other after like eight years of friendship?"

Noel shrugged. "I don't know, but I really don't want to talk about it," he said, as we neared the courtyard. "My dad told me to forget about it, and that's what I'm trying to do."

"But how do you forget eight years of your life?"

"I can't, but both my dad and his believe it's better for me to try and forget about everything," he pulled me behind a brick pole in the courtyard, before we sat down. "Don't tell your friends about Toby and I. It sort of just hurts. We were like brothers. The only friends we had before was each other-"

"You had a lot of friends in eight grade."

"I'm talking about before we joined the baseball team," he said. "It was just the two of us playing baseball in my backyard or video games in his living room."

I leaned up to kiss him. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," he said as if it were obvious.

"About your loss," I said. "and technically we did start dating in the eighth grade."

"That has nothing to do with it," he said. "I didn't ditch him for you or anything. I remember a day before we started going out, Toby and I were planning to prank Detective Wilden." I laughed at that. Detective Wilden was a sort of nutty, clumsy cop in Rosewood. "And then he bailed out an hour after I asked you to the dance."

"Did you still prank Wilden?"

"Actually no, it wasn't going to be any fun without my best buddy." He took a hold of my hips, pulling me closer and capturing my lips with his. My hands reached up and gripped the tail end of his hair. When we pulled away, he smiled. "We should probably get to our friends," he whispered. I bit my lip, smiling. Taking his hand, I led him to our usual table.

"There you guys are," Hanna exclaimed. "Where the hell have you two been?"

"Han, relax," Aria smirked. "They were probably out in some janitors closet doing who knows what."

"We were just talking," I said, sitting down at the table, Noel following my lead.

Hanna looked confused. "You guys talk during sex?" Jason snickered, along with Aria and Emily.

"No, Han," Emily giggled. "They weren't doing what Aria suggested. They really were talking."

"Oh," she said. "Right, I knew that."

"What were you guys talking about?" Emily asked.

I looked over at Noel when he spoke. "Something I really don't want to talk about."

"It's nothing to worry about," I added on. "and it'd probably be really helpful if we didn't bring it up." I looked at Noel, who looked at me thankfully.

"So," Jason began. "How is everyone?"

* * *

At the end of the day, I was walking down the hall when I saw Toby at his locker. I quickly ran towards him, as he looked like he was about to close his locker. "Hey, Toby!" I called. It looked like I scared him as he banged his hand on the locker by accident. I immediately felt bad as I made him drop all of his stuff. "I am so sorry."

He didn't look upset, somehow. I kneeled down and helped him pick up his stuff, one by one. "It's fine," he said, calmly. There was no annoyance in his voice, no catch. He really didn't mind. Although, I saw him quickly pick something up and stuff it in his pocket quickly. I could faintly see what if was, and was shocked to find out. I saw an orange prescription bottle. Why would he try to hide pills, unless-?

"What was that?" I asked, concern etched into my voice.

"Nothing," he said, all of a sudden nervous. "Uh, so the address?" I quickly wrote down my address on some loose notebook paper, ripped off the corner with the information, and handed it over to him. He thanked me quietly, and was about to turn around and head off until I grabbed his shoulder.

"Toby," I began. "Were those drugs?" I whispered, so nobody else can hear.

"It's nothing to worry about, Spencer."

"Why are you taking them?" I asked. "Are you like depressed or something?"

He smiled. "It's nothing to worry about."

"Then why were you trying to hide them from me?" I interrogated. "If you're depressed, you could get help. There are people who care, you know."

"What makes you think I'm depressed, or on drugs?"

"Well you were in the middle of the road yesterday." I countered. "Are you depressed, suicidal?"

He began to walk backwards. "Sure, let's put it that way."

I ran after him. "Come on, Toby. This isn't something to joke about."

"Look, I'm fine," he said. "I'll meet you in an hour for the project thing, okay Spencer? We'll do the project, and that's it. You don't have to meddle in my business. It's nothing serious." He said, running off before I got a chance to say another word.

* * *

**Should probably tell you this is loosely based off a movie I've heard of, but never watched. Mr. Anderson is actually a significant character in this FF. In my mind, I picture him to look like Shaun Sipos, from Life Unexpected, or Vampire Diaries. **

**spoby equals awesomeness: Uh, sorry to inform you, but uh, yeah. This fanfic does end in a tragedy, I'm sorry :( **


End file.
